


Bumbershoot's Punishment

by JadeTheThief



Category: Dice Funk Podcast D&D Campaign
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-07 00:33:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18862132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeTheThief/pseuds/JadeTheThief
Summary: Not gonna lie, I forgot I wrote this one.  Pretty sure it was before all the mirror stuff was explained in season 3.





	Bumbershoot's Punishment

“Oh mah god, let me out of here!” Bumbershoot wailed, struggling against his chains. “This is the WORST!”

“It's YOUR fault we're in here!” the ghost of Hawthorne the necromancer shouted. “Idiot!”

“Nuh-uh!” Bumbershoot shot back. “We wouldn't be here if you hadn't possessed mah body!”

“You tried to kill my wife!” Hawthorne scowled.

“Yeah but I didn't!” the vampire rolled his eyes. “Stop getting mad about things that didn't even happen. Gawd.”

The lock to the prison door clicked, quietly creaking open as an angel in a simple brown robe entered, wide wings trailing behind him. 

“Warden! Can you get this ghost out of me? He's really annoying!” Bumbershoot grumbled. Hawthorne glared.

“Perhaps some other time...” Warden Light spoke absently, pushing the door bolt into place. “You two need to stay here for now, though. I have a new punishment I wish to try out.”

“I'm not here to be your torture puppet!” Bumbershoot growled. 

The Warden's wings spread broadly as he locked eyes with the vampire. “You do not have a choice in the matter. But...” His wings drew inward, lessening the menace. “Your sentence will be lessened if you comply.”

The vampire tilted his head back, sighing with exaggerated disgust. “Fine. Whatever.”

The angel's body glowed with a blinding light, his robes fading away to reveal a finely chiseled male form. “For fifty years, I have kept foul beings like you prisoner on behalf of the gods, never once thinking to my own needs and desires. But the gods have never denied me this; only I have. And so, I will change that.” With a wave of his hand, the enchanted chains holding Bumbershoot coiled around the vampire's wrists and pulled downward, forcing him to his knees. 

Bumbershoot grunted as he hit the floor, looking up to behold a thick, glimmering white cock pointed directly at his face. “My, my...” he mumbled. “Now there's a juicy sausage...”

“My holy blood will burn you inside and out, foul creature.” The Warden's eyes lowered as he placed a hand on the vampire's head. “Bite only if you wish to discover how that feels.”

Bumbershoot grit his teeth. “Understood...”

Hawthorne's ghost looked around nervously, trapped behind the vampire's eyes. “What does this have to do with me? I didn't agree to this!”

“This is a mercy for you as well, necromancer.” A sly smile crossed the Warden's face. “Sucking my divine cock will grant a small measure of penance for your sins.”

“Ugh, let's get this over with.” Bumbershoot scowled, leaning his head forward and wrapping his lips around the tip of the glistening penis. The dick felt smooth and comforting yet firm and unyielding. Slowly and carefully, the vampire drew the shaft into his mouth, stroking it with his tongue.

“Mm,” Warden Light grunted approvingly. “The gods appreciate a job well done.” He stroked the back of Bumbershoot's balding head. “Now, show the gods your passion. Devote yourself to the task!”

“Oh god...” Hawthorne's ghost mumbled, growing dizzy as the vampire's head bobbed vigorously. “Why? Why???”

“Shut up,” Bumbershoot's voice spoke back mentally. “If we do this he's gonna let us out early.” Pressing forward, he sucked the cock deep into his throat and held it there, eliciting a soft moan from the Warden. 

“But how can we trust him?” Hawthorne replied frantically.

“He can't lie.” Bumbershoot shrugged. “It's just a dick. Don't be a baby.”

“Ohhh, that's good...” the angel moaned. “Oh Ilmater, I'm purifying that sinful tongue of yours...”

Bumbershoot gagged, a mix of a repulsed cough and a snort.

“Yes... oh yes, let me bathe you in my heavenly light!” His cock drew back out of the vampire's mouth as his hand took hold of it, working the shaft. Bumbershoot gasped, then blinked his eyes shut as the first blast of glittering cum hit his face, making his skin tingle. Wave after wave struck him, flowing forth with the force of an angel who's been holding it in for decades. By orgasm's end, the vampire's body was thoroughly coated with sticky goo.

“That was gross...” Hawthorne muttered.

Warden Light sighed heavily with relief as his wings slouched. “Very good... yes, the gods are pleased with your vigor.” The light covering his body receded and his clothes returned. “Once a week, I shall purify your souls thus, and in six month's time you shall be free, your sins annulled.” Turning on his heels, he exited the prison, locking the door behind him.

Bumbershoot blinked through sticky eyelids. “...Could be worse.”


End file.
